Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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