I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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