How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
