Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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