their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
