who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm so fucking centered right now
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
