You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
