I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
