I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
