So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
