Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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