You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
