Little spoons don't ask big questions
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
