i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
My feet surprised me
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
