wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
