saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Dicks are not precious.
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