if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
