I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
