marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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