My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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