Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
