I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
