Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
