the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
