What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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