I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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