You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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