Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
