So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
