She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
