She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
