Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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