We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
