So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize