you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize