You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
