This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Ketchup is God's man juice
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
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