He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
