I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
