brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
