I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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