Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I love you. Go after that dick
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
