Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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