Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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