Already got asked if we're dating
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
