where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
