I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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