Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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