i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
