So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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