Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
