Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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