Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
