I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
