Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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