I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
