Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
