What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize