Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
