Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
