Already got asked if we're dating
Sry I called you an 8
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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